so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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