Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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