Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
