we're blogging at a bar
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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