but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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