my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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