ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
