I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
