I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
