Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
