What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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