I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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