Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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