So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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