How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
