wakey wakey hands off snakey
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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