Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
