Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
