If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
