I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
