dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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