Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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