I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Nicole vs. Life
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
