I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
