remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
