The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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