Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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