Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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