Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
