Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
