So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
