Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
