Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
