quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
