dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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