let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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