He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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