Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
