i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
im holly from the hills drunk
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
