when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
