I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
