I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
