North Korea, Best Korea!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
