Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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