i don't like sucking hair
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
