..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
sarcasm needs its own font
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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