Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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