OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
