so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
