Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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