It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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