is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
