Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
